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Writer's pictureAman Deep

The Way of Love



An old man lived in a village with his wife and a son. Every day he went to the forest to cut down trees and sold the chopped wood in the market. The earned money was spent to meet the daily needs of the family. They were living a simple and happy life. One day the son requested his father that he wanted to go with him in the forest. When they reached the middle of the forest, suddenly sky started thundering. The deafening sound was an indication of a big storm. They stood aside and patiently waited for the storm to pass away. The storm vanished after an hour. The little boy was flabbergasted to see that the big and strong trees were crumbled by the strength of a storm but nothing seemed to happen to a tiny grass. It remained the same as it was before the storm. The boy was curious to know the answer so he asked the question to his father. He replied, "My dear son it's a very deep observation." You have to understand a few laws of life to find the answer to this beautiful question. Let's discuss them one by one.


  1. Don't be too rigid but remain flexible while dealing with the circumstances of life. The stiff trees were uprooted but the flexible grass remained intact. The rigidity not only applies to physical objects but also to thoughts. Have strong opinions but hold them loosely. Some people are too rigid and don't want to change themselves with the changing dynamics of the environment. Therefore, demolish their self in the process. Intelligence is the updation of beliefs with the arrival of new information.

  2. Never become egoistic about the power, strength, beauty, wealth, etc. Learn to bow down and surrender the results of the actions to the higher power(God) while dealing with uncontrolled events. The big trees refused to bend against the flow of the wind whereas a tiny grass is dancing in the storm. Always be humble no matter how powerful and intelligent you are. Control the controllable and be wise enough to discern what is under and beyond your control.


Did you grasp the crux of the beautiful story?


Yup, you get it right. Ego is our biggest enemy. It's an abstract entity that creates an illusion of separateness. It is so subtle yet one of the most dangerous things in the world. It ruins the harmonious relationship among people. We rarely fight with the external world but the real fight is within ourselves. Dealing with life-threatening thought patterns and learning to soothe ourselves is the biggest art in the contemporary world.


If ego is so unhealthy then what is its antidote?


Spiritual Love is an antidote to ego. It is unconditional and never diminishes with time. It's an acceptance of the other person irrespective of his virtues and vices. Love and ego can't exist together.


Did you notice the word spiritual? You might be asking yourself What is Spirituality?


Spirituality is when I close my eyes I feel immense peace within me and when I open my eyes a holy voice within me says, "Hey, What can I do for You?". Materialism is when I close my eyes I feel disturbance and chaos within me and when I open my eyes a wicked voice within me says, "What can I get from you?"


Why are we interested in cultivating love and freeing ourselves from the shackles of ego?


To put an end to suffering and freedom from the cycle of birth and death. In Sanskrit, it is called Moksha.


The path of knowledge(Jnana Yoga) and the path of love(Bhakti Yoga) are one of the many ways to attain moksha. Mistakes are the byproduct of ignorance and knowledge is the solution to ignorance. The essence of Jnana Yoga is to remain aware of the unmanifested form(Nameless and Formless) in everybody. It is very difficult to tread on the path of Jnana yoga. We experience the external world through our senses and recognize them through their name and form. Therefore, it's difficult to meditate upon the unmanifested form.


In Jnana yoga, a spiritual seeker has to purify himself by subduing his senses. He needs to have firm control of his mind and be at ease with himself. The path of knowledge is like a king. The king(knowledge) would like to go to a clean place( a body free from impurities like lust, jealousy, envy, etc.). Therefore, the path of knowledge becomes too steep to climb for some spiritual seekers.


It's easy to walk on the path of love to attain self-realization. Humans are identified with physical forms and have lots of desires. A lord can be a merciful father, a divine mother, a wise friend, or a beloved. Choose whatever suits you the best. If desires are there in you then let them be but replace them with God. If the mind is restless then let it be restless for God. Therefore, worshipping the lord in the form of name and form is easy for spiritual seekers.


Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. Rumi

The path of love is like a female servant who upon entering the house will clean up everything. There is no need to follow strict spiritual discipline in the path of love. The impurities will wither away with time. In Sanskrit, Bhakti Yoga is similar to a Bhikshu pada prasarana. A beggar requesting a little space to stretch his legs. After some time, he requests for a space in the other corner to keep the statue of a holy Lord. Later, he needs a separate space in the kitchen to prepare food for the lord. As time went by, he occupied the entire house. Spiritual love is like a beggar which upon entering the heart will occupy the entire body.


When will be the best time to implant the seed of love?


Sow the seed of love in your heart in the moods of extreme emotions(Happiness or Sadness).


What are the attributes of Spiritual love?


No Bargaining is the first attribute of Spiritual Love. There will not be any conditioning in spiritual love like I will give X amount of devotion and you will give me Y Rupees in return. Shopkeeping is not allowed in spiritual love. It is pure and unconditional.


Fearlessness is the second attribute of spiritual love. As long as we think God is somebody who is sitting above the clouds who rewards or punishes us according to our actions is nothing but fear. Fear resides deep within us that if we don't worship him then he will punish us. Pure love is when we do something for others without any fear. A woman is walking on the street and suddenly a loin comes in front of her. She immediately hides herself in the other corner of the street. But if a woman is walking with her child then she happily goes into the mouth of a lion to protect her child. Love knows no fear. The love of a mother is purest for her child. In spiritual love, we are the means and the other becomes the end. We rarely care about our happiness and are concerned only with the happiness of our beloved.


Love is the highest ideal in spirituality. Many times we see a beautiful girl loving an ugly boy. To onlookers, the boy appeared to be very ugly but to a girl, he is the most handsome boy in the entire world. She projects her ideal of beauty onto him. Therefore, he looks most handsome to her. The underlying idea is we are projecting our ideals into the world. The external world gives suggestions that act as a benchmark to measure our spiritual growth. When a grain of sand is washed into the shell of an oyster, the irritation caused by the sand produces a secretion that is converted into a beautiful pearl. When one successfully passes through the stages of no bargaining and fearlessness, he becomes pure and everything appears beautiful to him. To the wicked, the world is hell and to a saint, the world is heaven.


A child is the most selfish creature in the world. He only cares about himself. When he becomes young and falls in love with a girl, the love spreads from one to two people. The love grows from two to many when he becomes a father. He becomes perfect by following the right spiritual practices and the love moves from many to everyone. He enters into a superconscious state and goes beyond the cycle of birth and death.


Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Emily Bronte

What are the best spiritual practices that help a spiritual seeker to attain the superconscious state?


  1. Name: Enchant the name of God with love. The name and the person to which it points are the same because the name and the form are inseparable. Create one and the other immediately enters from the backdoor. Whenever you are sitting in a bus or walking on the street enchant the name of holy God within yourself. The mind becomes pure and you will be free from negative thoughts. With time you will start feeling deep silence within yourself. Your happiness is no longer dependent on anybody. Bliss starts coming from within yourself.

  2. Form: Meditate upon the form of the lord. If it seems difficult then simply look at the image of the lord with love. A magnet covered with a cloud of dust is unable to attract a piece of iron. Similarly, a body full of lust, jealousy, envy, etc. is no longer attracted to God. Keep meditating on the form and the impurities within you will wither away with time. You will start seeing the results within you after a few months.

  3. Powerful: The way of love is a life-positive spiritual practice. It is not against the world. Whenever you encounter anything powerful or beautiful immediately attach it to God. Suppose you saw a beautiful girl in the street, pause and become aware of the being that gives her immense beauty. There is no need to go to the forest and turn your back against the world. Live in the beautiful galaxy of ours and appreciate the beauty. Enjoy the spiritual as well as the materialistic world.

  4. Nature: Spend some time in nature. Enjoy the greenery of the trees and see how it soothes your eyes. Relish the beauty, smile, and dance of tiny flowers in the wind. When you observe the silence of trees then you will start feeling it within yourself. Be grateful to the Lord that you are alive and seeing the beauty of our Mother Earth.

  5. Oneness: Life is a sum of experiences. Things keep on changing around us but the experiencer remains the same. There is something within us that is observing everything but is beyond the pain or pleasure. Attain the highest state by becoming aware of it. It is a thread running through all the life forms and helping us to realize oneness. All are the same and nobody is higher or lower. Duality clubs and unity appear everywhere around us.


A devotee passes through three stages of life. Initially, he wants worldly objects. As he becomes more mature, he wants to end his suffering and finally, he becomes choiceless. He wants nothing. He is loving for the sake of love. He offers everything to God. A train that carries you will also carry your belongings from one place to another. Similarly, the divine power that is running the Universe from the eons will also take care of your life. Don't worry and surrender the outcomes of uncontrolled events to him.


Conclusion: Support is necessary for a small plant to grow. Similarly, idol worship is important for a spiritual aspirant in the early stages of life. By following the right spiritual practices, one starts seeing God and uncovers the divinity within him. A spiritual seeker is not buoyed up by praise and cast down by an insult. He is not running after the pleasure and avoids pain but lets things come and go as they happen. An equal regard for friend or foe, neither grieves nor has lust for anything. In the final stage, he becomes one with everything.



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Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash

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